Sunday, May 19, 2013

Justice is Served

I am pissed off.  I have been pissed off for days, now. Usually when my emotion runs away from me, I can meditate on the situation and figure out a resolution or, at the very least, a way to resolve the feeling.  I've tampered down some of the anger I am currently experiencing, but it's still there, right beneath the surface of my skin.  It's eating at me. 

Why am I so pissed off? Because our Justice system is supposed to be unbiased, the law is supposed to help protect people, and these things aren't happening as they should. Personal opinions seem to get in the way of doling out fair judgments. Personal opinions are getting in the way of helping people. 

Friday morning I held a woman while she cried her heart out. She had been brutally attacked by her boyfriend of several years.  The things he did to her, while he kept her captive in her own home back in April, were nothing less than torture and she is lucky to be alive. I will not go into any detail, as I don't think the shock factor is what is needed.  Just believe me when I say what I do. The police were involved in the incident and took a report while she was in the hospital. In May, the man pulled over for a traffic violation, was found in possession of cocaine,  and resisted arrest. He was booked for these offenses, then released on bail. Nothing was mentioned of the crimes he committed against the woman in April, which, I am told, when he is found and arrested again will have no bail. He will be in jail, and stay in jail for a long time. That's when they find him. In the meantime, there are threats being made against this woman, threats that he will do worse to her, threats that he will kill her. 

A friend recently posted about a woman in the U.K. that stomped a man to death because he was gay. She kicked and smashed this man with her foot so hard, he ended up dying from the injuries he sustained. She is looking at serving two and a half years in prison. Two and a half years for killing someone.  Really think about that.

These are just two examples of things I see on a regular basis. I end up having a ton of thoughts, things like, yeah, sure, make pot legal, it'll open up more room in prisons for the really bad guys. Because I begin to reason that the guy smoking pot isn't nearly as bad as the man who beat a woman in the head with a liquor bottle until it broke. Smoking pot is nothing compared to the woman who killed all of her children by drowning them, shooting them, or strangling them with her own hands.  

I begin to get irritated with FB postings I see about people being angry because a Marine held an umbrella for the President. Really? I don't give a shit.  He's the President, like him or not, having an umbrella held while he gives a speech, or walks to his car is part of the job perks. Deal with it. It's always been going on, and it's nothing new.

So, why am I pissed off? Because I don't see any hope of change in the way people think about other people, problems, and injustices. I see people who says that it was good that that woman "stomped that faggot to death. We don't need any more faggots in the world." This coming from people who claim to believe in God. Hate is spread like a disease. Are you really glad that someone was murdered? I hope you get to work that part of your heart out with God. 

Why am I pissed off? Because I don't really know what to do to help make things better.  I fight for people on a case by case need. Sometimes they win, much of the time is spent jumping hurdles and dodging obstacles that would hinder the average person trying to protect themselves, or their children. I do this with a really great team of people, and am grateful to know all of them. 

I don't fool myself into thinking there will ever be world peace. Humans are far too violent and selfish for that to happen. But, it would be nice to know that the systems that were set in place to protect people, and to help people, actually did that.  It would be nice to see people who worried about real problems in the world, rather than spreading hate based on the thoughts of a closed mind. There are people starving in the world, there are people persecuted everyday while trying to feed families and just trying to stay alive each day. Not too long ago, 2 million people were trying to flee from the tyrants of their country.  They had nothing. They were cut off from food, from water, and along the way had to leave the corpses of their dead children because the little ones just couldn't handle the journey. "Well, it's not my country, why should I care?" Because it's your world, that's why. Because it's a world problem, because it's our world, and we're doing a great job of fucking it all to hell. 

So, yeah, I'm pissed off. 


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Untitled

 “Are you a gift from the gods?” He inquired.

“I like to think so, sir, but occasionally I’ve been called the devil herself.” I giggled at the face he threw at me.  Fear, disbelief, somewhere in between, either way, it was funny as hell.

“I beg you not to take my soul,” he cried.

Oh boy, there I go again, upsetting the natives.  “Get up you fool.  I’m not going to take your soul.” I paused before I mumbled, “But I might nibble your liver.” I’ve been getting better at keeping a straight face when I screw with people.  I’m sure if he looked beyond his terror, he’d see the twinkling glint in my eye that always gave me away.  

“I have liver, madam.  If that is what you wish, I’ll gladly give you all the liver in the world in exchange for my soul. I have children you see, and the missus would be lost without me. I’ll even take the neighbor’s liver for you.”

Great, another married one.  I sighed heavily, my disappointment showing.  I refused to use the married ones for my tasks.  A girl has to have some standards and I refused to be known as a home wrecker, especially if the dude up and died on me.  Some men are frailer than they let on, you know. I commend them though, choosing to take the very well-being of another’s life in their hands and guard it. Some fail miserably.  Like the fella in Sabat that whored around while his wife starved at home, penniless, and no means to even seek the basic needs of survival. His brother was much better suited to her.  So don’t ever tell me I’m always up to no good. 

“Naww, that’s alright.  I don’t want any liver right now.  But, you had better walk the path of righteousness and be a provider for your family, else I shall return and claim your soul.” I flicked my hand in the air, dismissing the poor fella. He bowed as he swiftly backed away from me, then turned and ran.  I knew I didn’t have long before the rumors started about the devil being in town. One day I was going to learn to keep my mouth shut.  Sadly, I succumbed to my only form of amusement whenever possible.  Geesh, maybe I was the devil. I shucked that thought from my brain, if I were the devil, I’d have wings for sure.  There’s no way I’d be a wingless devil. And besides, the devil is a male.

I slipped quietly out of the alleyway, trying to remember the layout of the old map. Let’s face it, I was useless when it came to direction. I always figured it out eventually, my Zen GPS would kick in and bring me where I needed to be. Besides, the fun involved in being lost was priceless.  You never know who you will meet or where you will end up.  So off we go…

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Resonance of Life

Darkness resonated from him~ called out to me. I could feel him standing across the dismal, cold room staring, malevolence emanating in waves. Don't look!~ my inner voice screamed ~ I won't! ~ I answered back. Forever bound to the icy, stone wall, unable to run, I kept my head bowed downward staring at the dirt floor of my prison. The action futile I knew, he would win. He always won, but I refused to make it easy~ even for him.

"Look at me!" He demanded. Head down, I laughed. He was grinning at my impudence, amused by my efforts to fight him. But he was counting on my defiance; it fed his soul to have control over me. Satisfied the hunger within him. He knew his inner darkness, the beast that created me, was stronger than any I could imagine.

Foot steps.. falling softly on the ground, he slowly made his way to me. My arousal amplified by his nearing proximity. Oh how much I loved him, but never let him know. But he knew, didn't he? His musky, primal scent abounded stronger the nearer he came until it surrounded me, until I could inhale his very essence. His scent always tempted me in the most intimate ways, luring me, but I always resisted. He leaned into me, his hand running softly across my bruised cheek. His touch seemed to absorb the pain of my wounds. He whispered, warm breath across my ear, "Look at me." An order issued in the most tender of ways. Lusty passion heightened within me, but still I looked away, afraid. "Look at me, my love," he again whispered to me. I could resist no longer. Slowly I raised my chin, this time without pride, without anger to see him for the first time. An action he knew would break me and put me in complete surrender to him. An action I knew would have him surrender to me. Fear!! My shackles tightened around my wrists, squeezing, shooting pain throughout my body, mind and soul. I cried out in agony. "Do not be afraid, my love. " His voice soothing, calming. "Fear only pretends to love you, pretends to protect you. He does not love you, I do. Now look at me my love, see me for what I am." He commanded again.

I began to submit to him, I looked at him. Our eyes locked, my chest heaved, breath catching. Electric shocks of excitement coursed in me. In that moment, able to see the pain and weariness in his eyes I knew there was no place I'd rather be. I wondered what he saw when he looked into mine? The same? He broke our gaze, pressing his face against my neck, his breath warming my chilled flesh. How long had I been bound here? How long had I quietly endured the pain of this captive life? Always wanting to break free to feel the sun shine down upon me, to feel the rain cleanse me, to breathe the air deep into my lungs and smile, to feel green grass under foot and laugh. But no. I endured this cold, callous prison the uncomforting touch of abrasive walls, freezing ice storms. This dreariness could all fade away, if only....

"Submit to me, my love." I closed my eyes against his voice and inhaled, habitually steeling myself to be strong, to fight, to endure. I could feel the tears behind my lids wanting their release. I had only to submit~ my eyes shot open, the salty drops fleeing captivity, running. It was time!

He pulled back, taking my face in his hands, his eyes boring into mine. Then he was there, his mouth pressed against mine, his magic engulfing me, warming me, healing me. My shackles released ~Freedom! ~I wanted to cry, but he was there, taking my words, his tongue brushing softly against my lip, finding his way in~ passion ~ passion unlike any I've known before filled me. Free! I was finally free to feel, to be. I touched him for the very first time, entranced by his beauty. "Say my name," he requested of me. I paused as fear reached for me, causing my shackles to clang against the wall behind me, a reminder. "Say it!" He commanded.

"Life!" I cried, "You are life!" A solitary tear fell from his eye, a tear for me. "Yes, I am life my love. I have been waiting for you and I'm all yours." My arms unbound and Fear behind me, I embraced him. "Promise me, my love, promise me you will never let me go again," he asked, wrapping his loving arms around me. "I promise."

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Rayna's Quest: Continued

Live for the moment, Rayna. Umm, yeah, this was working out real well. She thought to herself as she held on to the minuscule ledge with her fingertips. She searched the cliff face for more nooks but could see nothing but smooth, sheer, rock. It seemed unnatural for the entire top quarter of the cliff to look like a sheet of glass. But low and behold, there it was.

"Oh for shits sake!" She hollered. A high pitched screeching echoed up from below. Glancing down she noticed several dark forms gathering at the base of the cliff in line with her. That's just great, smarty girl. Now what are you going to do?

From above, it heard the things voice and was surprised to understand the vulgarity that spewed from the things mouth. It understood the thing's language, or it was a trick. It had to be a trick. It unfurled its legs and bellied up to the edge of the cliff to glance down. It saw the thing hanging on, but not moving. What a stupid thing, couldn't even see past the islands glamour. It chuckled to itself at the things predicament but stiffened when it heard the shrieking. Kroyzan!

It could see the Kroyzan scurrying up the cliff wall behind the thing, tongues snapping at the air. It hated the Kroyzan. Mindless ugly beasts, scaly, four legged, foul smelling things. It could now see the yellow glow of the creatures eyes as they climbed their way towards their prey. Mine! It thought, not yours, you disgusting, malformed, Hell rejects!

Rayna began to panic as she saw the dark shapes making their was towards her on the cliff. She had no defense, could not use her magic. She was going to die here, alone. Worse yet, she would die and be a meal for some wicked beasts. What a way to go, where's the honor in that? She sighed.

It couldn't allow this! At least the thing was near the top. It placed its hands on the granite, calling forth its will. It's eyes glowed bright green in the black night as power surged forth and into the rock. The front face of the cliff began emitting an eerie red glow, swiftly covering the distance between the summit and where the kroyzan were nearing their prize. The rock a conduit for the searing heat that that forced the kroyzan to release their hold and plummet back into the sand at the base of the cliff. Rayna too had to let go and began descending in air towards the beach.

Her eyes grew wide with fear as she tried to call forth her will. She noticed a slight slowing in her fall and focused deeper to draw on all her power. Green eyes. She swore she saw glowing green eyes staring down at her as she looked to the heavens. No time for that. She envisioned herself in a giant bubble, softly floating towards the ground. She heard the creatures below her yowling. She thought it sounded like laughter at the excitement of having their meal delivered right to their doorstep. She readied herself mentally for the imminent landing, she did not draw her sword for fear of losing it when she hit the ground.

She was grateful for what little magic did seem to keep her from breaking on landing. The wind was knocked out of her when she hit the sand. She quickly assessed herself, decided nothing was broken. She could smell them before she saw them circling around her. A putrid, rotting smell mixed with a hint of sulphur. She quickly got to her feet and could immediately count seven of the creatures closing in, wet growling noises the warning of the coming attack. "What the hell are you?" she asked as she reached over her shoulder and withdrew her weapon from its leather sheathing. "Let's do this already," she announced, and took her stance, sword at the ready.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

Rayna's Quest: Part 1

Death didn't just come knocking on the door, he kicked it in. The little witch wasn't going to escape him this time. He charged through the dimly lit foyer trying to scent on his prey. He'd tracked her to the house, isolated in the woods. She thought she'd be safe for a little while, but he was made a man of vengence by her deceit. She would pay and dearly for what she took from him.


Rayna was certain Branston would be coming for her, she just hadn't expected him so soon. She wasn't ready for him like she was the last times, and felt fear growing in the pit of her stomach. She began to gather the mediums laid out on the floor. He couldn't find them, otherwise he would use those powers against her. She grinned knowing most of his anger was due to the fact that she tricked him, she felt a sense of pride in how easy he fell for her. She could still feel his strength flowing through her blood, fresh, as if she'd just captured it. She knew she had ignited an anger in him that turned him deadly and cruel. If he ever managed to catch up to her, or, goddess forbid, recapture all of his energy, she'd be a dead woman in a heartbeat. There would be no mercy.



"Rayna!! I've come for you, witch! I know you're here! I can smell you. Tonight, Rayna, tonight you'll be mine again. I can't wait to hear your screams," he exclaimed as he charged down the hallway. He laughed as the excitment grew within in. He would finally be able to kill her and reclaim what was his. He couldn't wait to feel her delicate neck breaking under his brawny hands. For so long he had relished the thought of watching her life force drain from her, imagined her eyes wide with shock and horror before her light faded to nothingness. Where once her beauty stirred his his loins, now the thought of her dead set him on the brink. Perhaps he would take her one more time before her demise. He grinned and started climbling the stairs to the upper floor, where he sensed her.



Rayna heard the creak of the wooden steps as he made his ascent, she had to get out. She hurriedly grabbed the remaining items, stuffed them in her jacket and fled to the window. Three stories up, it was her only escape. If she could make it to the woods she could flash to the island where she would be undetectable by him. Waving her hand and speaking a soft incantation, the window opened. She dove head first out of it, turning on the way down to land on her feet and ran to the cover of the woods.



"You bitch!!" He called out, his fury a viable entity that she felt, even at a distance. "Run, Rayna. But know I will bring you to the Altar of Sha'lain. I will make this your destiny, I swear to it!"

Rayna heard his words and thought, not if I can help it, you bastard! She couldn't resist turning and flipping him the bird. "You're too slow again, Branston! Have fun tracking me now," She laughed and prepared herself for the quick journey. Flashing wasn't so bad once you got used to it. She inhaled deeply, readying herself for the momentary gust of freezing wind to carry her to her destination, and in the blink of an eye found herself back where she said she'd never go again. Back where this whole mess began.


Rayna stood on the sandy shore of the island, warding off the shivers from the flash. She glanced up at the granite wall that loomed in front of her, mentally marking the path of her climb. The energy surrounding the island rebounded her in her attempt to flash to her desired arrival point. The forces were set in place as a saftey device, an ancient alarm, to keep the adventurous from chancing a stay on the isle. Rayna was the first to brave the land in over 500 years, or so she thought. What the hell are you doing, Rayna? a voice whispered teasingly, seeming to be carried on the wind, it was followed by others, some friendly, some down right malicious. We're glad you're back Rayna, we missed you. You're going to die here, Rayna. Yes, let the little one die. We need her for the rising. She will be invincible. Rayna, you must not let this happen.



"All of you shut the hell up. I'm in no mood for this drivel!" Rayna shouted out to them and to nothing, the sound of her voice consumed by the wind. She knew the spirits couldn't harm her, she had been warded as a child and would be protected from the haunts no matter what. The other creatures that inhabited the desolate, barren place were another story. Phantoms or some said, demons, that dwelled in this demention as well as their own wandered both realms freely, although they were confined to the island on this side. Rayna didn't know the name of the place they hailed from, but caught a glimpse of the hellish nightmare that they called home in her visions. The thought of it filled her with dread. With luck, the beasts would be dormant. Knowing the time of Sha'lain was coming, and the energies of the mystics was increasing, she highly doubted luck would be on her side.


Sha'lain's arrival was immenent and had been foretold for centuries. Rayna's sacrifice, or lack there of, if she could prevent it, would be the detirming factor of Sha'lain's strength. If captured and put on the alter, Sha'lain would rule an eternal life on Earth. The fates would decide if the alien landscape in Rayna's visions would be set forth upon all the lands; if the humans would be fodder for hungry beasts. Rayna, knew she could stop it, if only she could make it to the cave.

As she got her bearings straight, and began her climb up the sheer cliff, a set of glowing green eyes watched her every move from above. It didn't like being disturbed. It didn't like sharing it's territory. It must be an invasion, it thought, but where was this thing's army? Surely this.. thing... must be a fool to think it could defeat me, especially alone.

It watched, impressed, as Rayna skillfully managed her free climb up the sheer, cold wall of stone; carefully securing her hand hold before executing her next move, swiftly making her way to the top. It grinned, knowing it would take her life, once she succeeded. It sat, folding it's legs beneath itself and waited for her.







Reflections of Beauty

I stand in front of a square of mirror each morning carefully applying the paint of an urban female warrior. This is what I do, this is what I am trained for. Each brush is skillfully used to embellish every facial feature to perfection. Swirling colors to blend so you cannot tell where one stops and one begins. My face a daily canvas to be remade to reflect sexy, charming, in control.

Golden strands of hair fall around my face in soft flowing waves. All in place designed to be stared at; to be touched.

Matching clothing flattering just the right curves of the body.. coordinated handbag and shoes with not a speck of dirt on them. Which sunglasses to wear, to tie a pretty bow on the package?

A quick look in the mirror to ensure all is right. Pretty girl staring back with empty eyes. I look away for fear of confronting the truth.

Inside a slow scream starts to form.. pushing it’s way up, wanting to be set free. Push it back down, it cannot escape, there is no time for dwelling on what should be.

Echos haunt my mind, “you’re such a pretty girl” ; “how can you be sad, you’re so pretty”; “you have it made, you're so pretty”; “we like being around you, YOU’RE SO…. PRETTY”

SHUT UP!! I cannot talk to you now, I have beauty to throw around, tell your lines to somebody else. They mean nothing to me.

Look into my lifeless eyes and tell me how pretty I am once you really see me. Tell me how pretty I am now that you know the truth, now that you see reflections of beauty in me.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Star Dust

She was once the patient one, always willing to wait. The one who always understood being left behind. She was once brave, standing in the face of fear and shouting in it's face to end it's injustices against those who cannot defend themselves. The one who can hide the hurt bestowed upon her in the most secret places, no one can find. Falsified, personified by appearances, she was the pretty one, an easy guise to feign. To all who knew her, she was a rock, seeming to stand solid and strong, while inside she crumbled as easily as a thin layer of shale. She would hand out smiles she could barely muster, hiding tears that wanted to fall.

In the dark of night alone, wondering what it's all for, she is weak. She knows she has failed herself, has lost her potential to be someone, because she chose to always help someone else. Now she is alone and scared. She is tired, age slowly stealing her youth, wasted energy sapped away by the selfish ones. A willing sacrifice, her light slowly fades like the setting sun. She has no one to blame but herself, for allowing to be set aside like a little doll , to be abused, to be unknown. As she was in death, she smiled as she surrendered to the end, the darkness come to engulf her soul.

A shining star, dimmed by the world, to dust she does return.